This month we welcome a contribution from our own Lisa Waters of the IOR.  Thank you Lisa for writing about a subject close to my heart and many others I am sure.  It only needs a small intro as the blog speaks for itself.  See you next month where we will be blogging about ageism.

Take care till then, and if you would like to write a blog or you would like us to cover a topic.  Please do get in touch.

Sam

Male allies will help change the world

On this International Women’s Day, I was thinking that the world feels a less inclusive place than it did this time last year. With the rolling back of women’s autonomy over their own bodies in the States, more men seemly worshipping at the feet of Andrew Tate and spewing hate on social media, it is becoming more important that other men step up and call out misogynistic behaviour where they see it. I think we have to admit that people who think of women as less are never going to have their minds changed by a woman’s opinion, so the only hope there is to change their behaviour is if other men question their prejudices and call them out.  

I have seen this in action on more than one occasion as I’m married to a brilliant bloke, and I'm telling you this for a reason, not just to brag. I believe he can call himself an ally.  He steps up even when it makes him uncomfortable.  

I have never been prouder than the time he set a family member straight over the opinion that boys have urges and it’s women’s clothes that are to blame.  

My horror at this comment had been dismissed but it was magnificent to watch my quiet, non-confrontational husband step in and demolish every argument put forward to defend this abhorrent attitude. It was interesting to watch someone who had long held this opinion start questioning a belief peddled to him his whole life simply because another man called him out.    

There is a reason why women smile when the jokes aren’t funny and grit their teeth when they are expected to make the tea, or take the notes purely because they are female. It is because women standing up for themselves in meetings can lead to accusations of being difficult, and calling out inappropriate jokes means they are overly sensitive. This is where male allyship comes in.

If you see a woman looking uncomfortable about behaviour or attitudes that you wouldn’t want directed at you, your wife, daughter, sister or mum, be ready to call it out or back her up if it's needed. Being an ally can be uncomfortable, it sometimes means disagreeing with friends and colleagues, coming to someone’s defence or calling out a situation that it would be easier to walk away from. 

We need to level the playing field, let's lift everyone up, rather than pushing some down. Patriarchy is damaging to men, peddling a message that "real" men don’t show or talk about their feelings, sensitivity is not allowed, and close emotional connections are somehow seen as something men don’t need. It has even somehow made being "short"  unacceptable.     

So, let’s make the world a better place, let's make gender irrelevant. We are all people, so let’s treat everyone as an equal and a step to making this happen is for male allies to feel empowered to speak up when needed and show other men the way.

Happy International Women’s Day.  For balance and inclusivity, International Men's Day is the 19th November. A day where we can celebrate our male allies.