Slow down, you move too fast – go to make the moment last.

Feeling Groovy - Simon and Garfunkel

I am trying to teach myself a new skill.  I am trying to teach myself to be present.  I have been thinking about it for some time, and I am aware I am not often really in it.

I work in a role that is relatively fast moving and changeable.  As those who are in administration will testify to - you have to be on the ball.  Not just taking into consideration your tasks but also the personalities that you work with.  Being one step ahead where you can.  Life is like this too isn’t it?  Looking forward to your holiday.  Events.  Planning and arranging.  Most administrators are perfectionists.  We are the itinerary builders.  Most print everything off – Generation X do anyway!  Weddings, funerals, Christmases.  I know I have spoke about this to you, my dear reader, before.  So, if you are always planning ahead – when are you present?

I think I am really struggling to do that.  I think, in fact, I always have. 

It’s probably why I take photos of everything.  Capture the moment.  But shouldn’t I be enjoying the moment?  What am I capturing?  DOES it capture it all?

I was recently very lucky to have a weeks holiday in Portugal.  The first break in a long time with no itinerary!  I made a conscious decision to try this being present malarky.  I did take photos but tried to give myself a moment to enjoy the experience.  Sunrise – sunsets.  It wasn’t easy actually!  I am clearly wired.  But by the middle of the week I was making headway.  And I think when we got home was when I really experienced the benefit of doing that.   The benefit was that I had made the most of the experience – just being able to stop.  Stop and appreciate the moments.  Not just ticking off boxes of sights and activities.  Although there was a bit of that.  I mean, I can’t change completely!

Then I found myself trying to be in the present at a PULP concert.  I had seen them twice before.  Once in the glorious Brit Pop era of the 90s and again in 2011 with my then teenage son.  And this time with my husband.  I just tried to breath it all in.  I felt like I was returning with 2 old versions of me.  And present me - the new version. My journey to that moment.  I think I was being present.  It was totally retrospective. 

So that’s twice now.  I think I am getting it.  Am I?

For as long as I can remember, I have planned in advance to have things to look forward to.  I will always do that.  But now I am actually going to try more to enjoy the things that I planned to look forward to.  Because I am guilty of ticking a box and moving on to the next thing swiftly.  I am sure this will resonate with you, reader.  Especially as we hit holiday season.

But what is my message this beautiful July afternoon?  You can plan as much as you like.  You can plan for fun stuff – so make sure you enjoy it.  You can’t plan for the not so fun stuff, catastrophising does not count, so just try to create strength for you.  Take it from the good times and lean into that in the hard times.  You got this far and that’s no small thing.

Because you can’t plan everything, and the world will spin either way.

Have a great summer.  Take care of yourself and give the ‘being present’ a go.  And if you’ve already cracked that, then fair play!  Carry on. 

See you in September.